Hard To Say
by Arrieth
Summary: Ever since Ichimaru Gin left Matsumoto Rangiku has been a mess, so what happens when he returns? ONESHOT unless I decide otherwise later, IchimaruXMatsumoto


**Disclaimers are annoying but here it goes: the characters and/or series aren't mine, never have been, never will be, the end.**

**Hard To Say:**

"Call it a hunch, but, Hitsugaya Taichou?" a young blonde vice captain asked looking up from the paperwork that would have -for anyone else- been done hours ago, but she had a tendency to procrastinate.

"Hmm?" The even younger white-haired child prodigy looked up from his studies, he had already completed his work, but seeing the growing stack on his vice captain's desk made him frown.

"It seems the longer this Bound thing happens on Earth, the more paperwork I end up with," She stated bluntly, whereas anyone else wouldn't have been as uncompromisingly forthright as to actually state it.

"Really?" The tenth squad captain said to his vice captain caustically, "funny how that works. It's kinda like your paperwork," The blonde vice captain gave a questioning look so he continued, "it seems the longer _you_ go without doing _your _paperwork, the more paperwork_ I_ end up with"

"That is strange," the blonde remarked straining an oh-so-famous anime fall over from the young captain.

"Baka!" The captain shouted jumping back up and shaking his fist in front of him, "how do you _think_ it happens?"

The blonde vice captain shrugged and pulled out a bottle of sake that had been hidden beneath her desk, "I dunno, I had this sneaking suspicion that it reproduced and just kept creating itself over and over again, like some infectious disease,"

"I think the only thing close to a disease in here is your damned addiction to sake," The short white-haired captain said as he snatched some of the paperwork off of his vice captain's desk, knowing from experience when the sake came out, her work effort went kaput.

Hitsugaya Toushirou knew he wasn't the only one to notice it but his vice captain Matsumoto Rangiku had been drinking a lot more since captains Aizen Sousuke, Tousen Kaname and Ichimaru Gin had betrayed everyone and disappeared. And not only had she been drinking more but every now and then she would disappear to he didn't know where and be missing for hours at a time before showing up mysteriously and acting as if nothing happened, though many wouldn't know exactly why, Hitsugaya knew.

Rangiku poured herself some sake and took a few sips before she placed it down gently and sighed heavily, she needed to stop sulking it was only going to make her feel worse, and wandering around aimlessly where she had met him wasn't helping either. It only upset her more, she lifted her sake to her lips again and sipped slowly, another long day followed by a long night of nothingness, sheer nothingness. Her life was becoming nothingness withering away before her eyes, and she didn't understand why.

She buried her face in her soft hands and began to drift into her thoughts once more, _why?_ She wondered, _there was nothing here before, so why is it . . . why is it that something's missing now?_ She searched around in her mind for some kind of answer and was given one, a blurry picture sat as nonchalantly as ever in her mind it was the picture of what was missing, well, in a way. She knew what was missing was her heart, perhaps a part of her soul, but in her mind was the picture of the man who had taken off with it and not told her where he was going, like he used to do when they were kids, only this time, he wasn't coming back.

Before he knew it, Hitsugaya could hear the sobs of his vice captain coming from the desk beside his. He figured he would never understand, she was usually such a strong-willed woman and such a tiny thing had left her showing her true colors, she was depressed, sad and alone, and she was no longer afraid to show it. Part of Hitsugaya's chest ached, he really wanted to walk over and comfort his vice captain, but, he didn't know the words, and he couldn't relate, how was he supposed to know how it felt, whatever it was she was going through, he hoped it would clear up soon, and he hoped that the once so confident and fun-loving vice captain he had would return and he would no longer have to see her cry. He didn't like it one bit.

Matsumoto wanted nothing more at that moment than to stop crying, she hated crying in front of people, especially her captain, who was so young and yet managed to stay so strong. But that was the last thing her body would let her stop doing is crying, crying and being depressed. She was now resting her face in her folded arms on her desk and crying on her sleeves, and she knew she hadn't cried like this before, it seems the longer this lasted the stronger each pain in her heart was becoming. She didn't know what to do for herself, she couldn't stop crying and she couldn't help feeling this way.

Hitsugaya stood and gave up with the paperwork, he couldn't stand to see Matsumoto like this anymore, he let his chair push out behind him and he turned to exit through the door, _that's what she needs, alone time_ he froze in his tracks, _no, that's the last thing she needs right now_,_ what, no who she needs now is-_ Hitsugaya's thoughts froze at the sudden chill he felt within the room. He whipped around to see what had caused it and saw the open window, he proceeded toward it to close it, being as Matsumoto would get cold.

Hitsugaya sighed heavily and just as he prepared to pull the window closed he noticed a very familiar silhouette making it's way toward the window outside. He hung himself half out of the window to get a better view. A questioning look grew on the young captain's face as he squinted to make sure his eyes weren't playing games with him, "it can't be" he whispered. He pulled himself back into the room and shut the window flicking the lock closed, then turned to see his vice captain, she hadn't moved. He darted toward the door and as soon as he got there the door was already open and the same figure was in the doorway.

Hitsugaya looked up at the man in the doorway with an expression of pure shock, "wh-wh-what are you-"

The man didn't talk, he simply pushed Hitsugaya forcefully out of his way and entered the tenth squad's headquarters. He walked around though the rooms as if he had been there many times before.

Hitsugaya lifted himself off of the floor and ran to catch up to the intruder, "he-" Hitsugaya never finished his sentence because the door that the intruder was reaching fro opened by itself, and there stood Matsumoto. Her eyes were still tear-filled and her face was red from crying and she was still breathing abnormally from her sobs.

Upon seeing the man in the doorway, she froze, she felt her heart stop and the room around her grow silent and cold. She wasn't moving or breathing, all she could do was stare. She had just stopped crying over her lost heart and soul and now, standing before her was the man who had them, Ichimaru Gin.

Gin reached out to her, and as much as she wanted to smack his hand away and run for it, she couldn't feel her legs. He cupped her chin gently and lifted her head which had been slowly trying to look away, "cryin'?" he asked with his famous enigma of a smile.

Rangiku said nothing as she averted her eyes, looking away, but not turning her head, "well, I," she sighed, "so?"

"Ya ain' gotta cry now," he lifted her chin more and her eyes looked back to him, "there, now Rangiku, let's see ya smile,"

She didn't respond, and she defiantly didn't smile, but she did continue to look at him this time, "why are you here?" she asked, trying to hide every different emotion reacting with him being there. Part of her was angry with him and wanted to pull out her Haineko and kill him, part was sad because an ache in her heart told her he wasn't going to stay, though part was happy because she'd been longing to see him ever so badly, and the last part of her was skeptical, wondering if this was even real.

"Don't gimme that," he said not even letting her apparent apathy for his return get to him, "you ain' happy to see me?"

Rangiku had somehow gathered herself up and was able to lift her arm and push his arm away from her, "why should I be?" she avoided his eyes, knowing that he could see into them like a doorway to her soul.

"Rangiku," he cornered her, pinning her to the wall and leaned in, "wha's wrong?"

She still didn't look at him, "Gin, why did you leave,"

"Sometimes, ya just have ta," he informed looking to the side slightly, partly because he was unsure of his answer and partly because he could have sworn he heard Hitsugaya mutter "she better not buy that load of horse crap,"

"You didn't _have_ _to_ Gin!" Her sad eyes now searched his face for empathy or some sign of realization.

"Rangiku-" he began, this time she interrupted him.

"Why are you here?" she asked a second time, "what do you want?"

"I wanted ta see ya," he said, his smile softening from it's usual enigma to a sincere caring smile, "I missed ya Rangi-,"

"Yeah well the feeling's not mutual," she said quickly looking away once more. Even Hitsugaya rolled his eyes for that remark.

"Rangiku," Gin cupped her chin in his hand again turning her face toward him, her eyes searched his face, this time finding more than before, sincerity, sadness and an apologetic half-smile, "I'm sorry,"

"Why'd you leave?" Rangiku asked her voice softening to a whisper.

"Well, it's hard to say," Gin sighed and gave in "I was scared," his pitch lowered with hers and upon seeing her confusion he elaborated, "I found myself more and more in love with you daily and I was scared, scared you didn't love me back, and, so, I ran, away from you, away from my feelings for you and away from the truth, I'm sorry, I should have-"

She pushed out of his hold and turned to face the other way she raised her fist to her mouth and hid her tears from him, "you loved me?"

Gin pushed off of the wall and walked up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her from behind, he pushed his face through her soft blonde hair toward her ear and whispered softly, "I still do,"

Rangiku turned herself around in his arms and wrapped her arms around him, even though part of her didn't even want to believe any of this, she'd never been happier in her entire life, "I love you too, Gin," she said crying on his shoulder, "I love you too,"

**a/n: and cue the happily ever after music**

**I'm way too hyped up on sugar to be writing a story like this, well, I know my writing sucks but if you read it, I'd love some feedback, it's just a oneshot for now but if anyone wants, I'll continue it. **


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